I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
