Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
