is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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