so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
