I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
bring money and cleavage
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
