I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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