1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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