I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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