Pregnant stripper...not hot.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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