It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Well I just put wine in my tea
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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