Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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