Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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