Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This is the high leading the old right now
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
