How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
