lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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