She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize