and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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