found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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