just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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