I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize