Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
