i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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