So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
