3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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