I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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