I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
