It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize
