I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
