I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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