i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
