I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
