He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize