he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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