isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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