i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
