Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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