Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We have started to decorate penises.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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