This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
