I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
