Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
