i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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