And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
