she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
