Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Im part way to drunk.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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