I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
