after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
