I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize