Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We got so high we made milksteak
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
