she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
