Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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