What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
