i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
