check it out our google latitudes are spooning
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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