Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
