Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
