Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
