Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
