can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
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my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
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the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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