U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
