I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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