we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
