What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
ugly people sure do ruin things
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
