It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
