My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
