Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?

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  (303): He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay? http://tfl.nu/l4uw
  Replies (6) Good night (792) Bad night (1760)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly

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  (703): never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly http://tfl.nu/n7qz
  Replies (56) Good night (3986) Bad night (831)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  wtf?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.

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  (610): I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now. (412): wtf? (610): Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit. http://tfl.nu/b93y
  Replies (22) Good night (877) Bad night (3522)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.

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  (208): Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation. http://tfl.nu/cfqm
  Replies (20) Good night (3980) Bad night (676)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.

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  (519): Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil. http://tfl.nu/3ein
  Replies (69) Good night (12048) Bad night (921)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her

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  (815): it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her http://tfl.nu/ai8t
  Replies (13) Good night (1288) Bad night (5514)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side

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  (817): i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side http://tfl.nu/uejy
  Replies (54) Good night (9970) Bad night (1598)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this

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  (513): I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this http://tfl.nu/r3y4
  Replies (13) Good night (4249) Bad night (936)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public

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  (636): I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public http://tfl.nu/ux7y
  Replies (9) Good night (891) Bad night (4185)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.

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  (817): look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now. http://tfl.nu/dr20
  Replies (14) Good night (3840) Bad night (1293)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.

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  (304): You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar. http://tfl.nu/zoyd
  Replies (1) Good night (3543) Bad night (731)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.

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  (403): You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark. http://tfl.nu/dx9e
  Replies (16) Good night (2201) Bad night (571)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?

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  (609): he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night? http://tfl.nu/gjwh
  Replies (5) Good night (352) Bad night (1257)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here

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  (443): They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing. (1-410): Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here http://tfl.nu/0wca
  Replies (7) Good night (1262) Bad night (341)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.

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  (812): I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least. http://tfl.nu/mb2n
  Replies (4) Good night (232) Bad night (344)

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