Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?