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• (415): View more from California

  I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.

  (415): View more from California

  Watch for tornadoes.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad

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  Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.

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• (779): View more from Illinois

  explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  Ok let me change into clothes i can run in

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• 

  The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (210): View more from Texas

  I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.

  (210): View more from Texas

  my parents really loved me back then.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly

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• (686): View more from

  I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.

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