Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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