Porn is love you can see.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I look better un-naked...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
