just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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