So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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