i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
