Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You dont lie about slip and slides
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
