found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Is Oprah even human
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
