Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
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I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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