What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
