i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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